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April
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  • MON Into the Light Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.03
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 8:30-10:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Intentional Freedom Group

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.03
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Into the Light On-Site (COS)

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.03
    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday | 15455 Gleneagle Dr., Ste 200, Colorado Springs, CO

4
  • TUES Ashes to Beauty Group

    10:00 AM-11:30 AM
    2017.04.04
    Teleconferenc Call

    Teleconferenc Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 10:00-11:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES Into the Light Group

    3:30 PM-5:00 PM
    2017.04.04
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 3:30-5:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES 12 Step Group

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.04
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

5
  • WED Intentional Freedom

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.05
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Wednesday

6
  • THURS Into the Light On-Site Group (DENVER)

    5:30 PM-7:00 PM
    2017.04.06
    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 5:30-7:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Thursday

7
  • FRI Intentional Freedom Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.07
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:30-8:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI 12 Step Group

    9:00 AM-10:30 AM
    2017.04.07
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 9:00-10:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI Ashes to Beauty On-Site Group (PARKER)

    9:30 AM-11:00 AM
    2017.04.07
    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    FACILITATOR | Julee McManus | 9:30-11:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday | Southeast Christian Church | 9650 Jordan Road, Parker, CO

8
910
  • MON Into the Light Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.10
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 8:30-10:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Intentional Freedom Group

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.10
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Into the Light On-Site (COS)

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.10
    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday | 15455 Gleneagle Dr., Ste 200, Colorado Springs, CO

11
  • TUES Ashes to Beauty Group

    10:00 AM-11:30 AM
    2017.04.11
    Teleconferenc Call

    Teleconferenc Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 10:00-11:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES Into the Light Group

    3:30 PM-5:00 PM
    2017.04.11
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 3:30-5:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES 12 Step Group

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.11
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

12
  • WED Intentional Freedom

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.12
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Wednesday

13
  • THURS Into the Light On-Site Group (DENVER)

    5:30 PM-7:00 PM
    2017.04.13
    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 5:30-7:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Thursday

14
  • FRI Intentional Freedom Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.14
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:30-8:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI 12 Step Group

    9:00 AM-10:30 AM
    2017.04.14
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 9:00-10:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI Ashes to Beauty On-Site Group (PARKER)

    9:30 AM-11:00 AM
    2017.04.14
    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    FACILITATOR | Julee McManus | 9:30-11:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday | Southeast Christian Church | 9650 Jordan Road, Parker, CO

15
1617
  • MON Into the Light Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.17
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 8:30-10:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Intentional Freedom Group

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.17
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Into the Light On-Site (COS)

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.17
    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday | 15455 Gleneagle Dr., Ste 200, Colorado Springs, CO

18
  • TUES Ashes to Beauty Group

    10:00 AM-11:30 AM
    2017.04.18
    Teleconferenc Call

    Teleconferenc Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 10:00-11:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES Into the Light Group

    3:30 PM-5:00 PM
    2017.04.18
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 3:30-5:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES 12 Step Group

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.18
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

19
  • WED Intentional Freedom

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.19
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Wednesday

20
  • THURS Into the Light On-Site Group (DENVER)

    5:30 PM-7:00 PM
    2017.04.20
    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 5:30-7:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Thursday

21
  • FRI Intentional Freedom Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.21
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:30-8:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI 12 Step Group

    9:00 AM-10:30 AM
    2017.04.21
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 9:00-10:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI Ashes to Beauty On-Site Group (PARKER)

    9:30 AM-11:00 AM
    2017.04.21
    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    FACILITATOR | Julee McManus | 9:30-11:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday | Southeast Christian Church | 9650 Jordan Road, Parker, CO

22
2324
  • MON Into the Light Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.24
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 8:30-10:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Intentional Freedom Group

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.24
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday

  • MON Into the Light On-Site (COS)

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.24
    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    15455 Gleneagle Drive, #200 Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday | 15455 Gleneagle Dr., Ste 200, Colorado Springs, CO

  • CANCELED | MON Ashes to Beauty On-Site (COS)

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.24
    15455 Gleneagle Dr., #200, Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    15455 Gleneagle Dr., #200, Colorado Springs, CO 80921

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Monday

    No group this week.

25
  • TUES Ashes to Beauty Group

    10:00 AM-11:30 AM
    2017.04.25
    Teleconferenc Call

    Teleconferenc Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 10:00-11:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES Into the Light Group

    3:30 PM-5:00 PM
    2017.04.25
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 3:30-5:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

  • TUES 12 Step Group

    6:00 PM-7:30 PM
    2017.04.25
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 6:00-7:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Tuesday

26
  • WED Intentional Freedom

    4:00 PM-5:30 PM
    2017.04.26
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 4:00-5:30 PM Mountain Time | Every Wednesday

27
  • THURS Into the Light On-Site Group (DENVER)

    5:30 PM-7:00 PM
    2017.04.27
    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    5290 E Yale Street, #105 Denver, CO 809222

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 5:30-7:00 PM Mountain Time | Every Thursday

28
  • FRI Intentional Freedom Group

    8:30 AM-10:00 AM
    2017.04.28
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Cory Schortzman | 6:30-8:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI 12 Step Group

    9:00 AM-10:30 AM
    2017.04.28
    Teleconference Call

    Teleconference Call

    FACILITATOR | Marlene Holsclaw | 9:00-10:30 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday

  • FRI Ashes to Beauty On-Site Group (PARKER)

    9:30 AM-11:00 AM
    2017.04.28
    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    9650 South Jordan Road, Parker, CO, United States

    FACILITATOR | Julee McManus | 9:30-11:00 AM Mountain Time | Every Friday | Southeast Christian Church | 9650 Jordan Road, Parker, CO

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10 Lies Young Men Face in a Porn Culture

To My Future Son-in-LArticle 19 Father In Lawaw,

You are an answer to prayer. My wife and I have been praying for the men our daughters would marry their entire lives. Before you meet your future wife, my daughter, there are many challenges and temptations you will face. Believe it or not, you have a date with destiny. The smallest choice you make may determine if you meet my daughter or not. The world is going to try and pitch you many lies. Let’s have a man-to-man conversation, as I share with you some of the lies I have had to overcome in my own journey.

Lie #1: Porn will not hurt you. It doesn’t hurt anyone. You can handle it. It’s not an addiction. Fantasy Girl, as we call her, wants you and will make all your problems go away. She makes you feel good physically, emotionally and sexually.

Truth: Pornography will destroy you, your heart, mind, body, soul and every relationship you hold dear. Fantasy girl will not make you a man. You cannot handle her…she will handle you. Your relationship will keep you stunted as an emotional little boy. She will high jack the reward center of your brain and create a false sense of what sex and intimacy is really about. Lust and fantasy…take. In the end, porn kills any chance you might have to obtain real intimacy in your marriage to my daughter or anyone’s daughter.

Lie #2: Masturbation to porn is normal. It’s not only normal – it is good and healthy for you.

Truth: Normal is sick. If you want to be healthy, you are going to have to learn to be abnormal. Abnormal will need to be the new normal. Like I tell my clients, there are good plumbers and bad plumbers out there. There is a lot of bad information about masturbation that is designed to manipulate the truth. You are going to have to dig to find the good information. Your main sex organ is not your penis. It is your brain. If you train your brain to ejaculate quickly and often to fantasy girl, you are setting yourself up for a miserable wedding night and a failed marriage.

Lie #3: Sex is love. Your virginity is not worth protecting. For you to be an experienced lover, you should hook up with many women. Real men have lots of sex with lots of women.

Truth: Sex may have nothing to do with love. Love definitely has nothing to do with sex. Your virginity is worth protecting. You are worth waiting for my daughter as much as she is worth waiting for you. I doubt you would want to marry a woman who has had multiple sexual partners before meeting you. Nor would you want her to compare those experiences with the experiences she might have with you. Sex is a celebration of love between a man and woman in the bonds of marriage. You see love gives and lust takes. Hooking up destroys what true intimacy was designed to be. Research shows those involved in these behaviors run the risk of increased depression, contraction of STDs and an increased dissatisfaction with sex. Research also shows married couples have sex more often and experience the most satisfying sex.

Lie #4: God is dead. The Bible is not relevant to you today. The principles are outdated and will keep you from having fun as well as discovering yourself and who you really are. You are your own moral compass.

Truth: God is not dead! The Bible will always be relevant. It is not a book of rules to keep you from having fun. It’s a book inspired by a loving God who has given you free will. God wants you to exercise that free will wisely so that you do not destroy yourself. But what do I know? Don’t take my word for it. Read it for yourself.

Lie #5: You are not responsible for your behaviors. In fact, you are a victim to the world around you. It is everyone else’s fault you are having problems. You do not have to change. Everyone else does. In fact, the world owes you for things you have not worked for or have not earned.

Truth: You are not a victim. This type of thinking will only keep you as a victim. You are the only common denominator in all your problems and relationships. Once you start to change and take responsibility for your behaviors, life will begin to get better. We all have to play the hand we have been dealt in this life. Begin to make lemonade out of the lemons life has given you, and stop making excuses.

Lie #6: You are loved for what you do. Do everything perfectly. You are the sum of your choices.

Truth: You are loved for who you are. We have all made poor choices, but that does not have to define who you are. Whether you had an earthly father who loved you or not, your Heavenly Father made you and loves you. He doesn’t make junk.

Lie #7: Act on your feelings, only show anger and happiness. Vulnerability is weakness. Your feelings… are reality. The world wants you to let your feelings lead you. This is want to world wants, not only for young men but for young women also. We hear it in our language and in the media: “If it feels good do it. Have it your way. I didn’t feel like going to the gym today. I feel don’t feel like doing anything today. I feel like playing video games all day.”

Truth: Feelings are real but not always reality. Allowing your feelings to dictate how you act is a very dangerous and foolish way to live. If you want joy, peace and love in your life, you have to act joyous, peaceful and loving first. Then, those feelings will follow. Act how you want to feel.

Lie #8: You’re a man when you _____. (Fill in the blank with: have sex, drink, smoke, graduate from high school, get your driver’s license, graduate from college, join the military, get married, become a father, or get a job, etc.)

Truth: What is a man? When did you become one? Very few men know what a man is or when they became one. Many of my clients who are in there 50s do not know what a man is or when they became one. You become a man when you begin to take responsibility for both your good and bad choices. You become a man when you are obedient to God, intentional about your choices, consistent in your behaviors, and accountable to someone of authority in your life.

Lie #9: Do not tell anyone.  Your secrets keep you safe.

Truth: Secrets only keep you sick and in bondage. Bringing your life into the light will set you free.

Lie #10: You are alone and the only one struggling with porn. No one else will understand.

Truth: You are not alone. You are not the only young man to find women beautiful and desire to be affirmed by their beauty. You cannot have victory over porn by yourself. You need the help of other men who have walked this road ahead of you to help you navigate this minefield. There are many of us all around you who want to help you.

You and my daughter are worth it, so fight for the both of you. You are in a war for your heart. You can do it. Your destiny awaits.

Sincerely,

Your Future Father-in-Law



Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.

Kerry’s books include: Ashes to Beauty the Book and Ashes to Beauty the Workbook

Co-authored books include: 101 Blogs to Transform your Life, Volume I and Offended Deceived Addicted

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The Women's Onsite Support Group will not be meeting on Monday, May 1. We will resume regular meetings on Monday, May 8. Dismiss